have you ever felt that youre right but everyone claimed youre wrong ? then you have to explain it all and then they said "ohh, i see .. cruel " . but after that you feel guilty, guilty and guiltier . because of you say the right thing about your self and forgetting-even you nearly didnt do anything wrong-the smallest mistake that you have did . and your talking about relationship here that you built for so many long term life sake . where you keep your dreams and promises here . all blew up with just a small problem . you havent think clearly yet . youre still angry . you feel that the relationship was unfair . but at the other side, it is someone you loved youre talking about . youve stand for him even for only a year and a couple of months . you promised yourself you will take care of him for the rest of your life . cause you really know him . and you want him to be better, to live a better life . but you give up because you dont see anything in him . even though that changes cant happen instantly . but what you really feel is abandon . you feel like he is forgetting you slowly . he didnt pay attention to you . he ignored your advice . he refused to go out with you and prefer to go with his new friends A LOT . he didnt introduce you to them like he didnt want you to appear at all . but when you didnt ask him he thinks that you didnt care . but after all your conversations is only a rubbish after that . im upset . all i want is some explanations . BUT I DIDNT GET ANY OF 'EM ! i just want to know "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME" and when i did the same thing to him he's mad . he was mad for things that you dont even get it . and you asked again "what do you want ?" and he answered "i just wanna be free" . he didnt explain what kind of freedom that he wanted . I WANNA FREE FROM THIS CONFUSED SITUATION TOO !!! so you said "okay if you wanted that way" then he said sorry and wait till you cry and still giving you a wave hands ? what is that ? what is happening ?
i do have felt like this
what
what is love
what is care
what is promise
what is lie
what is break
what is up
what is 'i miss you'
what is 'i never let you down again'
what is confused
what is 'i have no more words'
what is happy
what is 'its all up to you'
what is hate
what is angry
what is mad
what is sad
what are you ?
what is care
what is promise
what is lie
what is break
what is up
what is 'i miss you'
what is 'i never let you down again'
what is confused
what is 'i have no more words'
what is happy
what is 'its all up to you'
what is hate
what is angry
what is mad
what is sad
what are you ?
boys will always be boys
what do you want ? itu yang terlintas dipikiran saya akhir-akhir ini. ketika sesuatu mengalihkan dunia dan segala yang difokuskannya dari apa yang telah dibangun bersama selama ini (agak lebay kata-katanya) saya pun bingung harus bersikap seperti apa. keberatan ? ya, merasa dirugikan ? tentu. saya mengorbankan banyak waktu yang seharusnya saya pakai bersama teman teman hanya untuknya and now what do i get after i adapt with his authority ? saya bingung, dimana dulu saya selalu menyesuaikan segala kegiatan saya dan menyempilkan setidaknya secuil waktu untuk bersamanya dengan alih-alih dia yang mencari waktu untuk bersama saya. sekarang ? dibilang seenak jidat : iya, dibilang sesuka hati : iya. segala sesuatunya berbalik, saya yang selalu bersenang-senang kini lupa bagaimana cara melakukannya. karena lebih banyak waktu yang saya luangkan untuknya daripada untuk saya bersama teman-teman. dan saat dia akhirnya selalu keluar dengan teman-temannya saya merasa senang akhirnya dia punya sesuatu untuk dilakukan juga. tapi giliran saya yang bingung harus berbuat apa. terpatok kebiasaan menolak ajakan teman hanya untuk meluangkan waktu dengannya. tidak bisa mandiri karena selalu bersamanya. juga segala hal yang dia larang saya untuk saya kerjakan, saya mematuhinya. tapi saat saya memberi advice dan segala macamnya apa yang didapat? sebal dan marahan bukan lagi makanan langka. serumit itu tapi akhir-akhir ini yang dia pikirkan hanya kebebasan untuk dirinya dengan penutupan pembelaan untuk bersama. saya juga ingin bebas kok. santai karena dari dulu juga saya tidak suka caranya seperti ini. tapi kenapa dia baru sadar sekarang ? bosan atau jenuh sepertinya faktor besar yang melanda dirinya. seperti kacang lupa kulitnya tiba-tiba kelakuan berubah drastis. yah boys will always be boys. saya hanya berharap dia sadar apa yang telah dia lakukan pada keseharian hari saya sehingga saya susah untuk beradaptasi menjadi 'normal' kembali. bebas dan sangat nyaman dengan itu.
so many things so little time
HELLO MY BLOG
hhaaaha it has been so f**kin little while i havent wrote anything again until now . perkuliahan membunuh daya imajinasi dan kreativitas saya serta waktu saya kucing saya dompet saya untung bukan saya . WELL ENOUGH CHIT CHAT cause i dont know what to say cause my brain was sucked up by the exams D***** . anyway i am now working on my projects of photo-works and business that make me a little bit busy . SO HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT I HAVE TO DO THIS HOLIDAY SESAON :D
1. launch my new season of tiny clothing line called : RATS *wait for the uploads :]
2. photo-works : facepainting * CHECKED
3. photo-works : underwater
4. photo-works : peacock * i dont have any idea but that feathers have to be the object !
5. making money
6. learn how to sew * cause im thinking about sewing my own clothes
7. learn ITALIANOOOOO *hhaaaha this one will start next monday :]
8. learn how to cook * hhi dont bother .. i wanna cook for my lovely ryan ;D
9. making another money
10. OPENING A GARAGE SALE AT MY HOUSE NEXT WEEKEND PEOPLE PLEASE COME AND BUY :D
11. buy hai miiko from 1 to 20 * hhaaaha :]
12. attending JAVA ROCKIN' LAND, THE RAPTURE, HELLOGOODBYE concerts
13. making another bunch of money
14. GOING TO THE BEAAACCCCHHHHH :D
15. shopping with my mom :]
hmm masih banyak lagi sih sebenernya tapi yang keingetan baru itu hha . dan ini saya lagi buat nama garage salenya dengan hesty dan gangguan ym pun mulai menyerang fakk .
DOAKAN SUKSES YAAA ;D
hhaaaha it has been so f**kin little while i havent wrote anything again until now . perkuliahan membunuh daya imajinasi dan kreativitas saya serta waktu saya kucing saya dompet saya untung bukan saya . WELL ENOUGH CHIT CHAT cause i dont know what to say cause my brain was sucked up by the exams D***** . anyway i am now working on my projects of photo-works and business that make me a little bit busy . SO HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT I HAVE TO DO THIS HOLIDAY SESAON :D
1. launch my new season of tiny clothing line called : RATS *wait for the uploads :]
2. photo-works : facepainting * CHECKED
3. photo-works : underwater
4. photo-works : peacock * i dont have any idea but that feathers have to be the object !
5. making money
6. learn how to sew * cause im thinking about sewing my own clothes
7. learn ITALIANOOOOO *hhaaaha this one will start next monday :]
8. learn how to cook * hhi dont bother .. i wanna cook for my lovely ryan ;D
9. making another money
10. OPENING A GARAGE SALE AT MY HOUSE NEXT WEEKEND PEOPLE PLEASE COME AND BUY :D
11. buy hai miiko from 1 to 20 * hhaaaha :]
12. attending JAVA ROCKIN' LAND, THE RAPTURE, HELLOGOODBYE concerts
13. making another bunch of money
14. GOING TO THE BEAAACCCCHHHHH :D
15. shopping with my mom :]
hmm masih banyak lagi sih sebenernya tapi yang keingetan baru itu hha . dan ini saya lagi buat nama garage salenya dengan hesty dan gangguan ym pun mulai menyerang fakk .
DOAKAN SUKSES YAAA ;D
aal iz well
still sound 'all is well' for me . this some kind of quote in this movie--that-so-patheticly-to-heard-ive-just-watched-it-this-afternoon--called 3 idiots is somehow inspiring me . not really . maybe the word depressing would fetch to me better -_-' . farhan in that movie really describes me . ohh noo so dramatic . he is taking an engineering study but his passion only for photography . well im not into photography but at least the story is the same with me . i dont know . i dont like science . i have passion in art but i cant express it nicely . my father wont let me . always done it secretly when having a photosession or else . well dad is a dad right ? lucky i have mom that sometimes supports me hha . and i have friends also ryan that support me always :] and in the end i believe that everything .. everything .. aal iz well :]
kantoi
tonight topic is KANTOI hhaaaha ( if you find this lame just get out off my blog ). jadi saya penasaran dengan salah satu lagu ZEE AVI si orang malaysie yang menyanyikan lagu dwi bahasa - malaylish yang berjudul KANTOI . what is kantoi ? apa yang aneh tentang ini ? dengan kebodohan saya yang super duper saya pun menganggap ini hanya umpatan belaka well unfortunately it is not like that . menurut urban dictionary yang saya buka (googling hhaaaha) it means :
a word to discribe that someone is busted, or caught doing something wrong . the word also can be use to discrible a wrong spelling or a wrong pronouncation of a word.
mungkin dalam bahasa sunda bisa berbunyi : HEUG SIAH ! atau dalam bahasa gaul sehari hari bebunyi : MAMPUS LU atau KENA LU . tetap saja its dissapointed me hhaaaha .. KIRA SAYA UMPATAN * keukeuh
a word to discribe that someone is busted, or caught doing something wrong . the word also can be use to discrible a wrong spelling or a wrong pronouncation of a word.
mungkin dalam bahasa sunda bisa berbunyi : HEUG SIAH ! atau dalam bahasa gaul sehari hari bebunyi : MAMPUS LU atau KENA LU . tetap saja its dissapointed me hhaaaha .. KIRA SAYA UMPATAN * keukeuh
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